Poetry and the Meaning of True Love

“Why does anyone like poetry?” Asked my attorney car-pool buddy as we sped away from the sleepy suburbs early in the morning towards the always vibrant New York City.

“I like poetry because it reminds me of the deep, gut wrenching feelings of first love and that subtle primal longing for sex that is buried in our day to day thoughts…and, of course, all those other human emotions” I said and then added “But it could be just me.”

I saw Mr. Attorney's normally placid expression dissolved into, what I first thought, was horror, or perhaps…just disgust. “Why do you ask? Still upset about your son going off to graduate school in poetry? “

Mr. Attorney is THE dictionary definition of pragmatic, yet the deep love for his son overwhelmed his practical soul and he sent the boy, first, to an ivy league college where he studied creative writing, and then, across the country to a graduate program in POETRY. All this money for something Mr. Attorney doesn’t even understand or like.

“You know,” he said, “a parent just wants what is best for his child. I was never upset that he chose poetry, I just hope it is a choice that will make him happy. Or at least as happy as you are about poetry.”

Then I realized…his expression was not of horror or disgust, but of relief. His son is doing something of deep value to people, perhaps not Mr. Attorney’s cup of tea…or warm milk…but others will appreciate his son’s poetry.

It is odd how our children turn out to be our true love. All the gut wrenching love from our younger years pales in comparison to the passion, the longing and the hope that we have for our children. Our one hope that we made the right choices along the way and that our child turns into a happy, responsible and kind adult.

Passion, Obsession and Martha Stewart

My mother-in-law gave me a subscription to the Martha Stewart magazine when I first married her son. I didn’t take it personally...although in retrospect—perhaps I should have. However, my mother-in-law was always so nice to me...describing recipes, in detail, right down to what the stove looked liked and how to turn it on....I can’t believe the gift was anything more than sharing her passion for cooking with me.

I had never heard of Martha Stewart before....of course, why should I—I didn’t have a TV when I lived in the city and the thought of “housekeeping” or even “housework” never even occurred to me.

But it was love at first sight when I opened the magazine. I was IN LOVE with Martha Stewart. I loved her ideas, I loved her bitchiness, but most of all I loved her obsessions...I guess I am always impressed by people who have an overwhelming passion...no matter what that passion is for. Cinemanics ....I totally understand them. Those people in the middle of the country who do crop art . Monks—how much passion must they have to renounce the joys of common everyday life.

My whole family is passionate. My husband has many passions, but he hates when I mention him. Although I have to say his photo series, Sponge Bob in Paris is truly an obsessive and inspired body of work.

The Beast also has many passions--mostly involving scissors, an inordinate amount of paper and LOTS of glue. I came home one day to find that she had cut and stitched her curtains into costumes for her dolls. What can one do? One cannot stifle creativity.

I wonder sometimes about the children who are so scheduled with lessons and sports and playdates—do they have time to tap into their inner passions? Do any of us have time to sit and think and obsess about something that is truly meaningful to us? Something that we are are truly passionate about?

What is YOUR Reality Show?

It all started with Ms. PR...as it often does.... She had actually contemplated writing to Extreme Home Make-Over a few years ago because their wonderful little cottage that overlooked the Hudson River was too small for her six foot something husband and their One Perfect Daughter (they had, at the last minute, decided to try out parenthood because all their friends were doing it...well not JUST doing it...but doing it to have a kid). She felt they had a case— “It is REALLY uncomfortable and so difficult to get intimate because the walls are so thin...and...I am just not ready to explain sex to the child yet.”

“Okay” I said—”you are the PR professional, but just remember your need to scream out in passion will be judge against families who have kids without limbs and skin diseases so serious that they cannot see the sun. Although I am sure some of the judges will be sympathetic to your ‘plight’—they will realize that middle America will probably NOT be.”

Ms. PR canned the idea of going on Extreme Home Makeover, but it got me thinking—what reality show could we be on? The Husband, The Beast and I CAN be charming, if we try, and we are not half bad looking...and we would love a little extra money, a new wardrobe, a trip...So I thought...

The Amazing Race—We love to travel, but we can barely get to the airport when we plan ahead for weeks. And, of course, once there...there is something SO romantic about airport bars—in a cheap, tawdry sort of way—we often get distracted just before the flight...although—we have never missed a flight.

The Biggest Losers—Sometimes I feel the need to diet, but my husband feels he is perfect in every way and why tamper with perfection. Yes—he is somewhat difficult to live with.

Super Nanny—the Beast can get an attitude sometimes—and she even slammed her bedroom door once. Yet, I am not sure if we have enough drama for good TV.

Bridezilla—too late.

What Not to Wear—The Beast and I ALWAYS like the BEFORE picture rather than the AFTER picture....and the Husband cannot believe we are watching such drivel to begin with.

Then there are all those freakishly large family reality shows (to which I credit the recent octuplet birth by the mom who already had six kids—I mean really—what was that poor woman thinking? If she was thinking at all—it was probably fame and fortune on the cable channels.)

Kate and Jon plus Eight— pleasssseee....I could barely handle a pregnancy with one fetus—I was screaming “Induce ME! Induce ME!” at my gynecologist when I was three months away from my delivery date.

The Christian Family that just keeps popping them out one at time--I think they are up to 18 kids now...you know we don’t do religion and we definitely don’t do childREN.

We thought perhaps we should just create our own show—a family travel show for parents who like to drink (a lot) and who enjoy lingering over long European meals. We could have tips:

How to stop that incessant whining by the exhausted child--power bar and cappuccino .
How to keep the child entertained during the 3 hour dinner--i-Touch (worth every penny).
How to leave the child in Piazza San Marco's and go have a bottle of wine with your sweetheart--bag of cracked corn from the local grocery store, outdoor café with a view of the square—sit back and watch while the child is happily attacked by filthy pigeons.

And I know what you you are thinking—there is not enough drama for a reality show—but THERE IS—in Venice we could not find a good restaurant for the life of us. We scoured the city for DAYS. Talk about the HORROR! Thank god for the wine bars....
In Paris we could not believe that restaurants closed SO EARLY....what happened to the idea of the late European meal.

So please write to the cable channels and tell them of your desire for a Lazy Mom Plus Two Travel Show.

What is your reality show?