“Do you feel it is okay to wear leather pants to a parent –teacher conference?” queried a friend one day when the kids first started kindergarten.
Taking a sip of her amazingly strong coffee and thinking I have FINALLY found someone else who triples the recommended amount of coffee... “why not--if you can pull leather pants off fashion-wise AND I think you can because you are tall and thin enough....bitch ”
“How about my ball-gag” asked her husband.
“Oh...I see now...Please don’t drag me into your little mommy-daddy dispute....for heavens sake... your child goes to the school with the arts-fartsy crowd" I said, "I am SURE they see mommies suited up in leather ALL THE TIME. The ball-gag, however, I would wait on. You might want to build more trust into the relationship with the school first. Try it out at a PTA meeting..OR...maybe a bake sale...
Hey during one of my back to school night I actually saw a mother with a ‘Got Beer?’ T-shirt on...and I wasn’t even looking in the mirror. If fact, this woman, who was also sporting a mullett haircut, did not even look like she was TRYING to push the envelope.
Showing posts with label Public Schools. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Public Schools. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Scientific Method and the Average Kindergartener
During my first ever Parent-Teacher conference my eye went down a very long list of categories on my daughter’s kindergarten dossier--most checked in the far right corner....and then I noticed one area of deficit...because REALLY who cares about what the child is doing well in...looking more closely with my mother eagle eye and following my finger across to the category title I found... “Scientific Method.”
I asked the teacher--”Scientific Method?!! The child is five. I would be hard pressed to define ‘Scientific Method.’ How about you?”
The teacher smiled a syrupy, knowing smile and told me not to worry...kindergarten parents are always SO nervous...she will “catch-up. She’s a SINGLE--right?”
I smiled back my best— ‘please-watch-it-I-can-be-a-total-bitch-if-need-be’ smile and said—”I am not worried about The Child...I am worried about the school. I feel at this age the main goal should be playing nicely with others followed by learning colors, shapes and maybe finger painting. So..back to Scientific Method—what is YOUR definition?”
“Oh...oh...”stumbled the suddenly non-condescending teacher..”you know photosynthesis... that sort of thing.”
“Hmmm...seems a little vague...but don’t worry—I am sure you will catch-up.”
I asked the teacher--”Scientific Method?!! The child is five. I would be hard pressed to define ‘Scientific Method.’ How about you?”
The teacher smiled a syrupy, knowing smile and told me not to worry...kindergarten parents are always SO nervous...she will “catch-up. She’s a SINGLE--right?”
I smiled back my best— ‘please-watch-it-I-can-be-a-total-bitch-if-need-be’ smile and said—”I am not worried about The Child...I am worried about the school. I feel at this age the main goal should be playing nicely with others followed by learning colors, shapes and maybe finger painting. So..back to Scientific Method—what is YOUR definition?”
“Oh...oh...”stumbled the suddenly non-condescending teacher..”you know photosynthesis... that sort of thing.”
“Hmmm...seems a little vague...but don’t worry—I am sure you will catch-up.”
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Volunteering--Just Say No
It is all too often in public schools that mothers are “tapped” to volunteer at school functions. And although I don’t mind giving money to the PTA or worthy causes such as buying a cow for hungry family in Africa, the thought of volunteering for certain school events goes against my New England upbringing. Beanie Baby Bingo, Ice Cream Day, and the most offensive of all—Restaurant Day.
At other schools, in the city, Restaurant Day is when the parents come to the school and the children act as waiters and take the parents’ orders, serve the food, tot-up the checks and make the parents to pay. All the money goes to the school. The kids learn, it is a change of pace for the parents and the school gets money. It is a win-win-win situation.
Here is the suburbia, because the children are not spoiled enough by being driven around in SUVs with DVD movies playing on surround sound for their enjoyment, we are also supposed to take a day off from work to go into their elementary school to act as waiters and serve them pizza.
I received a desperate e-mail from an ubermom a few weeks before the Restaurant Day begging for parents to help wait tables for the event. Obviously I was not the only parent who felt the event was redundant to life.
“Honestly” I told the eager mother--”Is it not enough that we serve the little beasts breakfast AND dinner, must we take off work to go and serve lunch to them at the school as well? ”
The Ubermom responded--”But, but...the children, the children....they work so hard at school—this is just a little gesture to tell them we appreciate them...”
“I don’t know about your kid, but I feel my child is barely challenged...how hard can it be? “
This bizarre behavior makes me wonder if my Brita water filter is really strong enough to keep me safe from what ever is causing this distorted belief that we are raising princes and princesses who must be praised, pampered, and doted on constantly.
At other schools, in the city, Restaurant Day is when the parents come to the school and the children act as waiters and take the parents’ orders, serve the food, tot-up the checks and make the parents to pay. All the money goes to the school. The kids learn, it is a change of pace for the parents and the school gets money. It is a win-win-win situation.
Here is the suburbia, because the children are not spoiled enough by being driven around in SUVs with DVD movies playing on surround sound for their enjoyment, we are also supposed to take a day off from work to go into their elementary school to act as waiters and serve them pizza.
I received a desperate e-mail from an ubermom a few weeks before the Restaurant Day begging for parents to help wait tables for the event. Obviously I was not the only parent who felt the event was redundant to life.
“Honestly” I told the eager mother--”Is it not enough that we serve the little beasts breakfast AND dinner, must we take off work to go and serve lunch to them at the school as well? ”
The Ubermom responded--”But, but...the children, the children....they work so hard at school—this is just a little gesture to tell them we appreciate them...”
“I don’t know about your kid, but I feel my child is barely challenged...how hard can it be? “
This bizarre behavior makes me wonder if my Brita water filter is really strong enough to keep me safe from what ever is causing this distorted belief that we are raising princes and princesses who must be praised, pampered, and doted on constantly.
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