Showing posts with label Religion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Religion. Show all posts

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Building the Fire



It is Bar/Bat Mitzvah high season for The Beast. Although born and raised an atheist—the child has embraced the Jewish culture—the singing, the dancing, the clapping, the high end catering, the swag….

It was a Bat Mitzvah that brought me, the ultimate non-religious person, to a temple this past Saturday.

I was watching the sailboats out on the river from this beautiful temple perch high on a hill in the Hudson Valley and suddenly in this quiet religious spot I looked down at the translation of what the child was reading in Hebrew. It was about building a fire…which is, of course, symbolic of so many things, but in the setting of the temple on a sunny, fall, Bat Mitzvah day—I could only think of one thing….raising a child.

In this wealthy suburb with houses packed full of goods and the children packed full of school and lessons and events—I thought about this prayer about how to build a fire. This prayer says that a strong fire is built by placing just as much care on the empty spaces as on the places where there is wood. It is about the space that is left between the wood that allows the fire to grow. Too much wood and the fire just smolders and never catches.

With our lives so full—is there room to build a fire? Is there room to grow or have we allowed the busyness of our lives to suffocate what we are actually trying to achieve? The child with so many activities, even if they are all good for her—does she have space to grow into what she want to become? Does she have time to decide what she wants to become? Thanks to religion I had some space in my day to think of The Beast and the need to put some space in our lives so the fire can grow.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

The Church, Sex and Faith


“Ssssunday Ssssschool. Sssssalacious Sssssunday Morning Sssssex “ whispered the serpent in my ear…I mean, Ms. Churchlady.

Okay…perhaps she did not say those EXACT words…but something very close… like—“We can take The Beast with us to Sunday School so you two can have some together time on Sunday Morning” (wink, wink-nod, nod) I know Catholics and those Watch Tower people are good at “building” their flocks through fear and little booklets—but who would have THOUGHT the Episcopalians would stoop to using sex to increase congregation size. I mean, REALLY—these are people who believe they will go to hell if they use the wrong fork during dinner. I guess times are hard for religion.

Something shifted when we had The Beast...some friends who seemed perfectly normal started to act strange. (Not Ms. ChurchLady—she was not Ms. Churchlady then) There was a lot of talk of god and religion from people who seemed about as far away from spirituality as the strip mall down the street.

The husband was about as thrilled by this friendly religious advice as I was by the baby advice I was given while eight months pregnant...”oh really—thank you SO much for that insightful tip on breastfeeding—who would have known a homeless man who is sleeping on a traffic island in the middle of Broadway could be such a wealth information on lactation...I guess I will just throw away all those baby books I have been pouring over for the last 7 months.”

The husband explained to one of his old poker buddies that we were not interested in baptizing The Beast in his church because we did not believe in god. Yet the born-again man kept on trying to sell us his salvation—The church had community, youth groups, etc. I finally heard the husband say in frustration-- “Look man—I am SURE the Klan has great barbeques and ‘community activities’, but we aren’t joining them either. ”

You may think we don’t like god, but that is not true at all. And as far as religion—I LOVE religion. ...those ancient mystery cults, those crazy Zoroastrians, the Buddhists, the Taoists....I minored in religion as an undergraduate. I swear—when I saw Vatican City…it took every ounce of knowledge I had from years of philosophy and history classes to stop me from genuflecting to the pure beauty of it all.

For those who wonder about why we would choose not to toss our child blindly into a religion just as a safe-guard for the potential afterlife—remember Paul Tillich: “Doubt is not the opposite of faith; it is one element of faith. “
But…if anyone would like to take The Beast on a non-denominational Ssssunday morning trip or have her for a Sssssaturday into Ssssunday sssssleepover—feel free. The Husband and I will find Ssssssomething to do.