The Power of the Boobs

“Have you told her?” Asked a woman I work with.
“Told her what?” I replied.
“ About her new power.” She said gesturing to her chest.
“Ohhhh…I think The Beast has an inkling. The guys at the corner coffee cart gave her a coffee, orange juice, bagel and donut for free this morning—I think she is beginning to suspect something is going on and I beginning to think that I should stop taking her to work on school holidays.”

My co-worker is right—girls need to be told about the power of the boobs. I feel there should be a handbook that goes along with the boobs--like a user’s guide. They could sell it at that teen bra store that I love—Aerie. Not a dreary book like, Our Bodies Ourselves, that tries to convince women that having an orgasm with a man is akin to seeing Loch Ness monster or discovering Camelot. But something fun like a younger girls version of Sex Tips for Girls by Cynthia Helmel…but without the Sex part…please….

Although there are countless joys to having boobs—how they look, how they feel, how wonderfully responsive men are to them…there is the flip side. The boobs attract jerks and pigs. With the power of the boobs comes a responsibility to clearly and firmly establish boundaries with boys.

Of course what scares a mother the most are the dangers of the predators, the scum bags and the generally jerky who will try to use any type of pressure—psychological or physical to get closer to their desire--all require an unequivocal—“I WILL call the police, I WILL file a crime report and I WILL ruin your life…if need be. “ Girls need to be given tools for self defense. I think I will write –“Boobs, the User’s Guide.” Look for it on Amazon at Christmas time.

Boys

I have been looking at boys. Not in the creepy way, the way some old men look at teen girls, but in a scientific way because I am the mother of a daughter who is close to dating age…and by “close” I mean several years away.

The boys seem…nice. Nice, smart and handsome. I don’t recall boys being nice or smart or handsome when I was in middle school—but perhaps my standards were too high or perhaps we just have better acne and hair care products now. These nice, handsome, smart boys scare me. They are just a little too confident.

I know The Beast and her friends are growing up, but I don’t see a lot of boy craziness—yet. Perhaps these girls are different…

In pre-school the girls would play with Barbies and sometime a headless Ken would be added to the Barbie line-up. I would ask—“do you want me to try to put his head back on?” But they would reply that there is no need…he did not have any speaking parts…he was just a body.

I remember in kindergarten boys did not seem to exist to my daughter and her friends. I asked The Beast one day who sat at her table and she said “no one” and I said…”no one?!” I confronted the teacher and she explained that two boys sat with the Beast—which in the Beast’s mind—was “no one.” I had her seat moved.

Then, towards the end of elementary school, The Beast would mention boys—as an irritant and later as something funny.

Boys are just now beginning to be talked about as people. Annoying people, but people none the less. The Beast reported the other day—“Sydney said that ‘ All boys are jerks.’” And as a mom I had to let her know…”Sydney is correct. And boys don’t change that much when you get older—keep that in mind”