Wednesday Weigh-In

The winner is…(Drum roll):
Ms. HR and Ms. Smarty-Pants Scientist
They tied—both reduced their BMI by 1.5.
CONGRATULATIONS! A really, really cool prize is on its way to you…as soon as I figure out what it is…

And perhaps they are thinking it is just sour grapes on our part, but the rest of us…me and my one pound/.2 BMI reduction and the others from the Sloth Club feel that we need a different method—so the new diet challenge beginning TODAY is percentage body weight. Send your weight to me at lazymomcafe@gmail.com. The competition will end June 10th giving us 4 months to recreate that perfect body.

FItness Friday/Saturday--Last Day

I am SO sleepy. This cold weather has just slowed me down completely. That and my new found passion for baking bread (How crunchy is THAT?). Anyhoo…YAWN…the first phase of the competition ends tomorrow.

Since I do not have a scale I had to run to Ms. PR house this afternoon to do a quick weigh-in and to my surprise…I had not gain weight as I suspected. I actually lost A POUND! Okay, okay—granted it was 13 pounds short of what my goal was…but I am not giving up. In fact--Ms. Seize the Moment, Ms. HR, Ms. Proud Procrastinator and I are continuing on in our quest for the perfect body. However, this time we are doing percentage of weight lost rather than BMI or poundage.

So the final day is Sunday for the Phase I competition…so please send your final BMI number (in strictest confidence) to lazymomcafe@gmail.com and I will crown the winner tomorrow.

Not to scare anyone off—but Ms. HR came back with her new BMI and she has dropped 1.5 BMI numbers. I, on the other hand, have dropped .2 BMI.

If you want to join phase II of the Iron Mom competition—please e-mail your weight (again in strictest confidence ) to lazymomcafe@gmail.com .

Don't Put This On Your Blog!!!

“Don’t put this in your blog!” were the first words I heard when I picked up my phone messages. Of course, I have been trying to think of a blog title ever since. The breathy message went on....”the doctor said I have to lose 30 pounds!!!! 30 POUNDS!!! I mean it—don’t put this in your blog! If you do--I will KILL you...”

I don’t know about you, but I had always been rather thin, as was Ms 30-Extra-Pounds. Not rail thin, but within the 2-4 jean size thin. I almost had a melt down when I hit 130 when I was pregnant. Now I would be happy to ever see 130 again. 130 is like ancient history now and for some reason this history seems not to be repeating itself.

It happened slowly, people warned me it would, but I did not listen to those old fat people. In my youth I could eat two slices of pizza and wash it down with a pitcher of beer and have no ill effects except perhaps a new boyfriend. Occasionally, if I were going to the beach—the week before I would do some sit-ups to get my stomach flatter, but never did I think to jump on a Stairmaster or diet....pleassseee.

Even now the idea of going to the gym with all those big sweaty women on the Elliptical machines horrifies me. Obviously THAT machine is not working. Or dieting—have you seen the people who are at the “salad bars?” The people lumbering into those Weight Watchers meetings? What could be worse than listening to other fat people talk about their failures. But I NEED help so true to form—I choose my local library to assist me with my weight problem.

My friend with her extra 30 pounds, who will soon be knocking down my door in a Mafioso style hit, decided to go the same route with Skinny Bitch/ a no-nonsense, tough-love guide for savvy girls who want to stop eating crap and start looking fabulous! by Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin for her inspiration. I felt the title was way too long and it didn’t sound fun enough for me—especially the giving up meat and coffee part.

Instead I looked to the French for inspiration....they are thin, they are sexy and they drink red wine and coffee—two of my staples...you don’t see French women sweating or talking about “baked” potato chips. So yesterday when I took The Beast for her weekly library fix. I checked out Mireille Guiliano's French Women Don't Get Fat.

I just love it and if I manage to get rid of my back fat—I will let everyone know…it is 3 month ”recalibration of your eating habits”—so check back at the end of January and I will let you know if it works.

Off to get red wine!