Monday, November 24, 2008

My Introduction to Suburban Motherhood

“I call her THE BEAST, what is your baby’s ‘nickname?’”

The perky woman recoiled slightly. She was dressed in an identical outfit to her 2 month old daughter—denim shorts, shirt tied at the belly and a little red bandana on the head...sans diaper...I can only hope.

“Oh...our baby’s nickname is ‘Peanut’ because she is so small.”

“We call our baby 'The Beast' because I am sure she is the spawn of the devil...but I am just guessing. It is SO hard to think with so little sleep, I have not had time to research.”

The big twin tightened her grip on the tiny twin and slowly backed away from me and my Beast Baby.

For heavens sake...cannot new mothers be honest with one another without being judged?


lj said...

As a colic survivor I recall many years ago after my son finally started sleeping through the night. I went to work one day and they asked what had happened, I looked so "different", so much "younger". I said oh, my son slept through the night for the first time. Wow, they said, that's great. I thought he was 4 though, I didn't realize he was younger. I said oh, he is 4, but he's logged the awake time of a 12 year old.

(he's 8 now, and still has odd sleeping patterns, but he's more self sufficient now, so we get to sleep in on weekends.)

LazyMom said...

Oh daughter was not a sleeper at all...and my husband and I could both happily sleep 9-10 hours a night. She did not sleep through the night until she was well into four.

Between the parents who claim their children sleep through the night after 2 weeks and those with potty trained kids at 1--I am not sure which ones to hate more.

MaxiMom said...

My son woke up at least three times every night until he was about four years old. After that, only once or twice. Now that he's nine, he sleeps fairly well - although sometimes he talks and walks in his sleep (as well as once doing a flip), so it keeps us up sometimes.
Needless to say, he's an only child.
I always wondered why people always ask after the first six months of having a child (sometimes sooner), "are you planning to have a sibling?" It really makes you want to slap them!