Saturday, January 30, 2010

FItness Friday/Saturday--Last Day

I am SO sleepy. This cold weather has just slowed me down completely. That and my new found passion for baking bread (How crunchy is THAT?). Anyhoo…YAWN…the first phase of the competition ends tomorrow.

Since I do not have a scale I had to run to Ms. PR house this afternoon to do a quick weigh-in and to my surprise…I had not gain weight as I suspected. I actually lost A POUND! Okay, okay—granted it was 13 pounds short of what my goal was…but I am not giving up. In fact--Ms. Seize the Moment, Ms. HR, Ms. Proud Procrastinator and I are continuing on in our quest for the perfect body. However, this time we are doing percentage of weight lost rather than BMI or poundage.

So the final day is Sunday for the Phase I competition…so please send your final BMI number (in strictest confidence) to and I will crown the winner tomorrow.

Not to scare anyone off—but Ms. HR came back with her new BMI and she has dropped 1.5 BMI numbers. I, on the other hand, have dropped .2 BMI.

If you want to join phase II of the Iron Mom competition—please e-mail your weight (again in strictest confidence ) to .

Friday, January 22, 2010

Fitness Friday--1 Week to Go!

Okay, Okay…My wallowing has stopped. I believe my present sluggishness is actually a hibernation gene that is still linger in my modern body from pre-caveman days…the days when giant sloths roamed the land—as soon as the temperature drops below freezing outside the only activities I can do are read, eat and, in the evening, drink red wine. Even watching “films” requires too much emotional investment. I have re-ordered my Netflix queue to send me only comedies. The foreign documentaries on personal struggles have to wait.

Ms. Seize-the-Moment and I have decided to extend our competition since we are obviously LOSERS…or rather—we are NOT losers, but lazy and slovenly. But I must be honest—lazy and slovenly has a certain appeal which Puritanical Americans refuse to recognize. It saves money—no need to run to the gym and use gas and spend money, no need to clean your house—lying on the couch and reading doesn’t make a mess. It is really a “green” way of living.

We, of course, will have our final Winter Weigh-In on 1/31 and the victor will be crowned. I am not sure who to place my bets on. Ms. HR is using a diet which I can tell is working by just looking at her. And Ms. Proud Procrastinator, for all her talk about not doing anything, seems to do a lot. The chic certainly does not procrastinate with exercise. I tried, and failed, to sabotage Ms. Smart-Pants-Scientist last night at the Mother-Daughter book club by suggesting the garlic knots and pizza, but the woman has control.

So…for anyone who feels they could lose more weight—June is our next goal and we REALLY mean it. Let me know if you want to join-in. We are accepting applications for a limited time only. I am definitely losing fourteen to twenty pounds!

Friday, January 15, 2010

Fitness Friday--2 Weeks to Go!

Is everyone back on track with eating right and exercising? Good for YOU!

I am still wallowing in self-loathing. Of course, I blame Ms. Seize the Moment for feeding me a meal with enough calories to nourish a small nation for a day. Those foodies—they are very tricky with their claims: “ Olive oil is good for your, dark chocolate—it is almost health food….” 10,000 calories later I am lying on my couch in a comatose state of caloric overload. Thank you Ms. Seize the Moment. That woman will do anything to win the competition.

The trick…apparently…is not to give up…at least that is what my self-help books tell me.

In times like this I think of Ms. Filmmaker’s English mother who never pulled her punches about “disgustingly fat people.” Oh…the ever sensitive English, of course, it is far more difficult to turn down a piece of lasagna oozing with fresh, melted mozzarella than a piece of toast with the tar-like Marmite spread on it.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Niche Mothering

I KNOW there are mothers who are better than I am…at…say…volunteering at the school, pushing their child towards academic excellence, getting camp forms in on time, knowing the school holidays… I know because there are Ubermoms all around me in this upscale suburban town that I call home.

However, as much as these Ubermoms try to make me feel insecure—I KNOW that I excel at other, more important, aspects of motherhood. I consider myself a niche mom. My focus is the cultural stuff….Family Art Projects at the MoMA—we are there. Modern dance at City Center—present. Experiencing fondue at a French restaurant on the Eastside—an absolute must for little girls. Carnegie Hall kids--a prefect day. Experimental theater—kids love it. ( Nothing like strobe lights and scantily clad dancers swimming above you in a see-thru Plexiglas swimming pool to get the kids revved up about theater.) Europe over Disney for a family holiday—Venice is SO much more enchanting than the Magic Kingdom plus the wine is better too.

The next time you find yourself accidentally in the middle of an Ubermom competition—who worked the hardest volunteering at the school, whose child won some major award for ending world hunger, who has just placed their child in the most exclusive, most expensive camp on the East Coast—screw them. Focus on your niche mothering. You are not here to be the CEO of your kid’s life. You are here to enjoy your life with your kid.

See you at the museum!

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Fitness Friday--A Day Late

I must confess--I actually GAINED a pound since the last time we spoke. But I am back on track…now that I finished my final holiday bon-bon….
I also read a few articles in the New York Times about weight loss and one article pointed out that slower heart rate exercises are better for burning fat than intense exercise that is better at burning carbs . So if you want to sprint off that pizza you just ate—fine. However, if you are trying to lose the saddle bags on your thighs—a long, long walk is more effective.
Anyone up for a long, long, walk in this cold, cold weather? Not me. But soon.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

The Power of Imagination

The husband is creative. His imagination runs wild and fast. A lot of his creative work is unknown outside the immediate family. And I am sure that there is work that he has done just for himself that even WE don’t know about. Like my daughter’s little homes for fairies—I often stumble upon an artwork that my husband has randomly created for fun like the fire breathing man fireplace he made for the patio, but on a smaller scale.

Although I always knew he was creative, his true brilliance was not tested until we were stuck at a highway McDonald’s in the dead of winter with a tired, cranky four year old waiting for a tow truck and nothing packed for distracting The Beast since we had planned only a short trip.

The Husband started by dipping the ends of two stray French fries into a pool of red catsup and strutting them across the table singing “we are off to see the wizard.” Followed by my daughter stacking the little half and half containers to create the tin man. The Big Mac container became the “Great and Powerful Oz”

The husband and the daughter put on the entire “show” of the Wizard of Oz using only the remains of a happy meals as the cast and set-- 20 minutes later the production was over, the car was on a tow truck and we were headed home. Unfortunately the cast and set had to be tossed in the trash on the way out the door, but the memories stay with us forever.