Thursday, February 18, 2010


The strip of condoms swung into my line of vision .” What are these?” asked the annoyingly curious Beast as she proudly waved the prize she found in the detritus that had fallen from by bag.

I had not thought of condoms in…say 10 years…until a bunch of them were shoved into my hand as I walked by the Columbia University main gate on the Upper Westside.

Often people are at the Broadway gate handing out free samples…mints, gum, soda, coconut water…whatever the marketers are interested in testing with college kids. So when a tiny, wrinkled, Asian woman in an apron with large pockets handed me a wade of some individually wrapped circular shaped objects it took me a while to realize these where not mints, but the new NYC condoms…curtsey of NYC….thank you Mayor Bloomberg.

Not knowing what to do with them—I tucked them in my bag for later disposal. I few days later at home while I emptied my bag the snake of brightly colored condoms fell out. The Beast was intrigued. I tried to be nonchalant—“oh…that is something they were handing out…free samples.” I said—hoping that would end the conversation.

But the Beast persisted. “ It is sort of big for a mint and it feels funny…squishy.” I always remember Ms. SexEdLady’s mantra—“capture the teachable moments when they happen.” Taking a deep breath, I elucidated as quickly as I could the purpose of the squishy sample.

The Beast, still intrigued, would not let the free sample go…so with further explanation AND a demo with a banana—I felt I gave a rather comprehensive overview of the purpose and use and even history of condoms followed by a warning not to touch boys because even condoms will not protect you from cooties . The Beast was completely and utterly disgusted…thankfully.

In case you ever doubted, I am here to tell you— it is true what the experts say—Children DO listen to their parents. Perhaps it was a year later while walking along the Hudson River with one of The Beast’s friends, the girls discovered an unwrapped, probably used, condom lying just off the path. The friend was curious and wanted to investigate further, but the Beast knew exactly what it was…”Oh that is like a rubber glove for a penis.” Horror tinged with nausea crept over the friend’s face as she dropped the stick she was planning to use for a closer inspection. Another successful sex ed intervention and I did not have to say a word.

Thank you Ms. SexExLady!

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Teen Bra Heaven--Aerie

This is a public service announcement for all moms with tween/teen daughters.

We all know the initial excitement of getting the first bra soon fades…especially when Target’s girls section is no longer an option--things become a little more complicated. And what shopping experience can be worse than being the mother of a tween/teen looking for a bra—let me tell you…not too many.

After a quick look at Lord and Taylors where their bra selection seemed limited to push-ups and dowager LARGE cups styles, we tried H & M—too sexy, Victoria Secret’s…no way. I was just about call it quits at the mall and take The Beast into the Town Shop on the Upper Westside—until we came across Aerie—the prefect mix between J Crew and Victoria Secret’s—a sort of clean-cut sexy—if that is possible.

A fresh faced girl in jeans and t-shirt showed us the their system. They have drawers of bras categorized by chest and cup size —so you can try on every style they carry in your size in one sitting. There is a little call button in the dressing room so you can call for assistance without getting dressed and tracking down the sales person and all the bra styles are named with girl names. Once you find the style you like—you just go to that rack, pick your size and your favorite colors. It is brilliant and simple.

Three bras and $75 later--happy daughter and relived mother.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Wednesday Weigh-In

The winner is…(Drum roll):
Ms. HR and Ms. Smarty-Pants Scientist
They tied—both reduced their BMI by 1.5.
CONGRATULATIONS! A really, really cool prize is on its way to you…as soon as I figure out what it is…

And perhaps they are thinking it is just sour grapes on our part, but the rest of us…me and my one pound/.2 BMI reduction and the others from the Sloth Club feel that we need a different method—so the new diet challenge beginning TODAY is percentage body weight. Send your weight to me at The competition will end June 10th giving us 4 months to recreate that perfect body.