Sunday, April 5, 2009

The Mommy Cliques

I hate cliques.

I managed to successfully avoid cliques in high school by rarely attending classes and when I was there--my group of friends was so small and so scattered among the cliques I never really had a chance to belonged to any one group.

But NOW I have a deep, dark secret—I am part of a Mommy Clique. Don’t pretend that you are a not. Anyone with a child and a job HAS to join one, there is no way around it once the child is in school and doing “afterschool activities.”

The pre-school mommy cliques are completely different than public school because you can predefine who you are by the pre-school your choose. If you send your child to some touchy-feely German preschool where the child just runs wild all day long, sings semi-pagan songs, piles onto one futon with the other kids for a nap, where closing the bathroom door is optional AND where parents are served mulled wine at school plays --chances are there are just two cliques of mommies—the ones lining up for the mulled wine and then the OTHER mommies who are desperately looking for another pre-school because they thought this little school had a “German immersion program.”

Public school brings on a whole different set of issues. You are thrown, once again, into the larger spectrum of society (just like in high school) and you must reassess where you, and now your child, belong in the social mix.

We all know the cliques, but I will list the most common ones and its high school equivalent for easy of identification.

The PTA mommy clique (Cheerleaders)
The non-PTA, but volunteer a lot mommy clique (Flag-twirlers)
The popular mommy clique (the pretty smart girls who are going to good private colleges)
The stay at home mommy clique (the greaser girls)
The crunchy super organic mommies (the camping/ Grateful Dead listening girls)
The super-smart mommy clique (you know—they got 800s on the SATs...)
The artsy mommy clique ( the music/art freaks and geeks)

Of course, being a Lazy Mom rules out entrance to many of the mommy cliques.

The PTAing and Volunteering mom cliques—I am FAR too lazy.

My economic and intellectual needs rule out the stay at home mom clique.

The popular mommy clique—they breed popular daughters and The Beast feels the popular girls are mean and “are really just afraid of losing their BFFs.” The Beast is far nicer and far more socially aware then I am--so I generally go with her opinion and steer clear of the popular moms—because I would hate to displace a BFF and get in an ubermom’s firing line. Because e-mail CAN be an ugly thing.

The crunchy moms are SO NICE, but again—our own personal short comings get in the way...we love red meat, red I am a firm believer in vaccinating children and using antibiotics appropriately....need I say more.

The smarts moms—they are so busy and so good--makes me tired just thinking about them. We liked the idea of the science fair and the Beast and her friend thought of many creative exhibits to build... such as the bowel model that farts etc...and even went to museums for further inspiration, but when it came time for the research bit....

So...that leaves us with the Artsy Mom Clique—which is just fine...slightly kooky, crunchy, smart and willing to carpool at the drop of a hat.

Mulled wine anyone?

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