Tuesday, February 10, 2009

The Secret to a Straight A Student...Southern Style

I was attending an obscure, sort of touchy-feely, marketing workshop in the city a few months ago and while waiting for the speaker to arrive I started chatting up another woman who was sitting nearby. She said she lived in the South...

which explained her
  • frosted blond hair
  • shimmering pink nail polish
  • warm, vacant smile

She had come to NYC just for this workshop.

Ms. Perky Southern Belle mentioned that she was a member of the Rotary Club which I have always equated with the Freemasons for some reason. In an attempt to get her off the topic of the MANY joys, and BENEFITS of the Rotary Club--because I was afraid that she might invite me to join and then I would have to wear some funny looking fez (or perhaps that is a Mason thing—or perhaps it is just a Flintstones mocking the Mason thing)--I asked her about her family.

She said that her daughter was an A student in high school and they were looking at colleges and that was actually another reason why she is North of the Mason-Dixon line.

“Oh! Wonderful!—Tell me! How did you managed to motivate your daughter? ” I said, since I am ALWAYS looking for tips on parenting because let’s be honest—we are all clueless..and besides maybe I can make a book out of it... 101 Ways to Get Your Girl to Harvard...Study Your Way to Stanford...Secret Study Methods of the South....

Waiting for the homey answer along the lines of... flash cards from the time her daughter was 3 days old...electric shock for incorrect answers. Or maybe this once blond bombshell married a total science geek and he spent hours with the daughter building competitive killer robots on the weekends ....or maybe she just sent the girl to Harvard Summer School for the cost of a rather nice trip to Europe....every year. Of course all of these ideas did NOT even come close.

“Oh, I promised her a new car when she turned sixteen if she maintained an A average. “ She said with triumph in her voice. “And I just bought her a brand new VW beetle...with cash.”

“Oh—well that is something I really cannot use for bait given my economic situation.” but I queried further not willing to give up on my book idea-- “Do you have any other tips for those of us without $25,000 in our pocket ready to plop down? “

She attempted to toss her helmet of perfectly set hair and smiled that chalky white bleached tooth smile that was enhance by her slightly orange tan... “No.” she said with a giggle. And then she turned to talk to some other jaded New Yorker about the wonders of the Rotary Club...

Well...I guess all that money I have been giving to the tutor and all those piano, horseback riding, dance lessons, etc. should have been going towards a car down payment.

More pearls of wisdom.


JGH said...

Shoot, I thought it might be some kind of corporal punishhment, but this is almost more nauseating!

Lazy Mom Amanda said...

We are also Lazy Moms...Welcome to the club!

SJC said...

Isn't it said that we don't even have enough money to bribe our kids???

LazyMom said...

I know, I know...I hate when the answer is SO simple yet not within our grasp.