What Kind of Mother Are You?

There seems to be a fair amount of confusion over the mommy classifications from one of my older posts...and as I mentioned earlier the list is not exhaustive and of course there are degrees and permutations of different mommy types as Ms. PR pointed out...such as the Lazy/Selfish Mom which is a branch of the just plain LazyMom. So here are a few common behaviors of various moms to help you decide YOUR true category.

Telltale Behavior #1--School

• If you have ever sent a permission slip, homework, test etc back to your kid's school with your signature AND a circular red wine stain on the paper: LazyMom

• If you have ever covered a circular red wine stain on a permission slip with white-out: SuperMom

• If you are horrified by the fact that someone could actually get a wine stain on anything: UberMom

Telltale Behavior #2--Vacations

• If you have ever found yourself booking a family trip to Venice rather than Disneyland because—we can always PhotoShop Mickey into a baby picture and tell her she went to Disneyland..that she just does not remember because she was so young: LazyMom

• If you have ever gone to Disneyland and have taken some poor neighbor’s child who has never been because she has a LazyMom who prefers Europe: SuperMom

• If you have a time-share in Disneyland for the next five years so your children can benefit from the joys of American culture: UberMom

Telltale Behavior #3--Health

• If you have ever dosed your child with cold medicine and sent her off to pre-school because—”please, it is not like you’ll get a refund when your kid is absent due to the sniffles and she probably got it from some snotty nosed kid there anyway.”: LazyMom

• If you ever noticed your child had a slight fever, called the pre-school to warn other parents and sent out e-mails to all play-dates that week that your child might be coming down with a virus and they should keep an eye on their child for signs of illness...: SuperMom

• If you ever noticed your child was just not herself, called your holistic pediatrician for some herbal remedy, kept the child home from pre-school and baked cookies with her: UberMom

Telltale Behavior #4—knowledge

• If your child knows how to pour a glass of wine...perfectly: LazyMom

• If your child knows Obama’s positions on public education: SuperMom

• If child knows all her grades will be "As" because you volunteered for every possible event at the school: UberMom

Telltale Behavior #5--Parties

• If your child’s birthday party always includes a case of wine and a case of beer for the parents: LazyMom

• If your child’s birthday party always includes an educational theme: SuperMom

• If your child’s birthday always includes some paid entertainment such as a clown, petting zoo, etc.: UberMom

Telltale Behavior #6— Leisure time

• If your idea of a good time is a pitcher of Sangria or martinis with your husband in the backyard while the child plays quietly with friends: LazyMom

• If your idea of a good time is a trip to someplace educational with the family: SuperMom

• What leisure time? Who has time for leisure?: UberMom

Feel free to add your own behavioral observations...there will be a prize for the best one in each classification and extra points for new variations.