Thursday, December 3, 2009


I have been looking at boys. Not in the creepy way, the way some old men look at teen girls, but in a scientific way because I am the mother of a daughter who is close to dating age…and by “close” I mean several years away.

The boys seem…nice. Nice, smart and handsome. I don’t recall boys being nice or smart or handsome when I was in middle school—but perhaps my standards were too high or perhaps we just have better acne and hair care products now. These nice, handsome, smart boys scare me. They are just a little too confident.

I know The Beast and her friends are growing up, but I don’t see a lot of boy craziness—yet. Perhaps these girls are different…

In pre-school the girls would play with Barbies and sometime a headless Ken would be added to the Barbie line-up. I would ask—“do you want me to try to put his head back on?” But they would reply that there is no need…he did not have any speaking parts…he was just a body.

I remember in kindergarten boys did not seem to exist to my daughter and her friends. I asked The Beast one day who sat at her table and she said “no one” and I said…”no one?!” I confronted the teacher and she explained that two boys sat with the Beast—which in the Beast’s mind—was “no one.” I had her seat moved.

Then, towards the end of elementary school, The Beast would mention boys—as an irritant and later as something funny.

Boys are just now beginning to be talked about as people. Annoying people, but people none the less. The Beast reported the other day—“Sydney said that ‘ All boys are jerks.’” And as a mom I had to let her know…”Sydney is correct. And boys don’t change that much when you get older—keep that in mind”


Michele said...

It's not the "nice, handsome, smart boys" that should scare you. They will be too nerdy and friendly to be exciting to a teenage girl. It's the sloppy, gorgeous, bad boys that should scare you. Girls go for bad boys.

I'm lucky I have sweet, handsome, smart boys. No need to worry about girls until college.

Anonymous said...

better acne and hair care products, more attention to hygiene and fashion--yes, that must be why each new crop looks better!! But the hormonal urges are just exactly the same as they ever were-- in my family all of my sisters have girls.. no boys--they kept trying for boys and ended up having more girls... so a lot of boys are around, it doesn't seem to matter if they get honor grades, are charming, sweet, and confident--they still wanted the same thing the rebel types wanted from my nieces-- they were just so much better at hiding it, looking like they had so much integrity, etc... One red flag for moms (and aunts) to look for is attention to adults--especially flattery, another flag is the "sincerity" --some of them can really that on pretty thick. Careful to be casually perfect around any adult. These are the ones that really had a hold on my nieces, were always trying to negotiate some kind of sex deal that we never knew about til later,
"he seemed so... so PERFECT" we'd say, stunned... after he disappeared or was banned.
and we still couple more girls to get through puberty... it is a challenge!

LazyMom said...

Great! Thanks you two. I was feeling a little worried--now it has escalated to ALL OUT PANIC.

Good tip on the suck-up boys--I could definitely see it. Kids are just too socially savvy--scary...very scary.